Todd, 38, struggled in his relationships. He shared “I don’t even know how to live in this world! I’ve been married twice. I have three children with my second wife. I don’t have a relationship with either of my kids. I hate my boss, and my colleagues don’t acknowledge me or invite me to any outside functions. I don’t know what to do!”*
There are many people who can relate to Todd and have the same struggles. Whether we are talking about work, family, friends, customers, spouses, significant other, spouses, etc. involves creating relationships. Relationships are defined as: “the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.”
As you can see, relationships aren’t determined by an agreement of commitment. They are exclusively set by how we engage with connection. Interesting, right?
The universal goal of civility is to create healthy relationships that are fortified, respectful, productive and long lasting. If we operate with intention, we can have truly amazing relationships. Would you like to know how? Here’s a fool proof method of having the most amazing relationships ever! I’ve created this method entitled “A.C.C.E.P.T.A.N.C.E.” Continue reading for the specifics of this acronym and its ability to completely change the way you connect with others in your life:
- Affirm – To affirm someone is to simply provide them encouragement and emotional support. This can be done in a plethora of ways with one of the most popular ways being to listen and offer responses such as “I hear you.” “I want to better understand.” “This must have caused great pain for you. How strong you must be to have sustained this!”
- Choose – Choose to be present and available within your relationships.
- Care – To care about something simply means to attach importance to it. Care can come in many forms from remembering key events (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.). Another example of showing care comes in the form of showing respect about items of importance to others. These items can include subject topics, personal property and opinions.
- Engagement – Perfect the art of engagement. People want to be around those who value and know how to be witty, clever, diplomatic, loyal and trustworthy.
- Promise – Do what you say you are going to do. Be a person of your word.
- Time – Nothing of value comes without investment. There is no greater investment than time.
- Acknowledge – Acknowledgement involves “accepting or admitting the existence of.” All of us like to be accepted. None of us wants to be ignored, undervalued or taken for granted. Acknowledgement includes saying “hello”, responding to digital correspondence in a timely manner, and starting conversations about topics of interest in face to face situations.
- Novel – To be novel is to do something in a new or unusual in an interesting way. Whereas there are points of relationships that require stability, there is also quite a bit of opportunity to keep things novel. Examples of being novel would include interesting conversation, surprising your significant other with tickets to one of their favorite events, having a tea party in your child’s room, etc.
- Change – Sometimes we have to take a risk and trust that those around us have no ill towards us. They mean us absolutely no harm. We simply have to take a chance and know that all will be well.
- Evolve – Because we are dynamic beings, it would only stand to reason that we should also be equally expectant that our views, ideals and ways of being present will evolve, too.
Are you interested in learning MORE about how to use A.C.C.E.P.T.A.N.C.E. in your relationships? Follow me as I provide a detailed blog for each component of A.C.C.E.P.T.A.N.C.E. You will find that it will truly turn your life around when you allow yourself to fully incorporate these techniques into your life.
*Names in this article do not represent actual individuals.
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Shirley, R. (2020). How Do You Develop Amazing Relationships? It’s all in ACCEPTANCE. Psych Central.
Retrieved on March 25, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-do-you-develop-amazing-relationships-its-all-in-acceptance/